Personal Development Training
I’m taking a break from seminars and courses this year to narrow my focus to improving in very specific areas in my health, wealth, and relationships. That being said I have been very blessed and fortunate to take part in some great seminars and courses over the past few years and those have led to a lot of personal growth and development in my life. I believe that any time you have the chance to take advantage of a high end seminar or course of some kind on a topic that really fascinates you, then you should go all out and take the course.
Here are some of the more interesting courses I’ve taken:
1. Relationships: I took a bootcamp with Venusian Arts led by Mystery himself. I never really spoke about this in detail because I was somewhat secretive about it at the time but I’ve always been a fan of pickup and I really have no qualms about sharing it now. It is the means by which I got into the Rich Jerk’s Playboy Mansion party. This in turn introduced me to my fascination and obsession with internet marketing and led me to starting this blog as well. It was one of the best and most rewarding weekends of my life. I got to meet Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Eben Pagan (a.k.a. David DeAngelo), and a slew of other guys who are big names in that realm. I also learned more about not just women, but relationships and human interaction than at any other stretch in my life.
It literally was a game changer for me and I would recommend that any man who would like to learn more about women and how to improve the relationships in their life to take a bootcamp from a reputable company. The importance behind it is they are not just teaching tricks to get more women, but rather a lifestyle of constant improvement. By cultivating this attitude of always getting better in all areas of your life, you will naturally become more attractive and more women will be attracted to you anyway which is just icing on the cake. I’ve also looked at many related books and courses on the subject since then and have gained a mass amount of knowledge on evolutionary and general psychology. It’s almost eerie how related that dating and marketing can actually be sometimes, which leads me to my next section.
2. Wealth: I have written about a few of these here, but it’s worth noting that I have dedicated a vast amount of time into ebooks, books, courses, and seminars on marketing the last few years. I’ve even selected marketing as a minor when I go back to school later this month because I’m so passionate about it. I’ve gotten courses from the Rich Jerk, Frank Kern, Mike Filsaime, Eben Pagan, and so on and so forth. I’m taking one currently about SEO that is already paying dividends with this site as well as the other projects I’m involved in.
One of my favorite experiences is getting to be at Frank Kern’s Mass Control 2.0 seminar in San Diego and getting to soak up such great information and be around a crowd that is so passionate about the subject. I learned a massive amount of great tips and techniques that weekend that I either have implemented or will in the coming years.
One of the downsides of all this is that I overwhelmed myself with information at times and didn’t take action to the extent that I should have. I’ve gone about correcting that problem this year and am already seeing results from it and hope to build on my progress as I get better.
I have no doubt that someday I will be making my living as a marketer and writer as a result of my introduction to this community. (Be here when it happens! 
)
3. Health: Because of the progress I made in the other two areas of my life, I noticed that I was slipping physically at times. So I started to work out again. I made a little progress right away but wanted a little structure and a plan I could follow. So I got my hands on a copy of P90X and it made a big difference for me. I made it to the third phase but found that I was getting a bit bored with the redundancy of the workouts so I switched to a more traditional weightlifting, cardio, and sports combo of exercise which has been phenomenal for me. I’m now in great physical shape and am training to run a half-marathon in May and then a full marathon later in the year.
The point here though is that P90X was HUGE for me. It got me into a habit of eating in a disciplined fashion and understanding how my body reacts to eating and working out. This allows me to make necessary changes on the fly and even if I eat some junk food now I don’t worry because I know when to be a little more conservative with my diet and/or when to rest and change up my workout routines.
Summary: I’ve been able to either take a seminar or go through a home study course for each area of my life over the past few years and all have made a huge difference for me. I am narrowing my focus to taking more action this year and taking less courses, but the foundation of knowledge I have built by taking high value trainings is invaluable to me. I have invested literally tens of thousands of dollars into my personal development and it has paid dividends for me in every area of my life and my overall well-being. I would encourage anybody else to do the same.
You don’t have to buy a big expensive course, but just simply start out with a book or a good blog. Try to practically apply the fundamentals of what you learn and use what works for you in your life and personal situation. Then as you gain a little more knowledge and experience, consider taking a higher end course of some kind. It will most likely be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of your life.
Self Improvement Series 1: Grooming
Here’s a new series in my ongoing dedication to personal development and related topics. I’ll be covering some grooming basics in today’s article.
Grooming is one of the simple things that many people overlook but can make a huge difference on how you look, feel, and how you are perceived by others which can also in turn affect your perception of yourself. Part of personal development is improving yourself in all aspects and how you present yourself to the world is a big piece of that. I like to sit in and bum out as much as the next guy, but I’ve found great success with how I feel and how that in turn affects me over the following days and weeks because of my grooming or lack thereof.
A lack of hygiene, dress, and presence can be overcome by how you present your personality. But if you have all of these working in unison, you will find it much easier to be attractive and impressive to others. This can lead to networking and relationship opportunities you may not have had otherwise. So let’s get started. These can generally be considered applicable to men and women:
1. Hair maintenance: Keeping your hair in a neat, trimmed style. If you are going bald, investigate your options: hair products, implants, different hairstyle, etc. For men, it may just be worth going bald. Grooming all other hairy areas of the body is a must as well. Back hair, nose hair, ear hair, and possibly chest hair are all candidates that are worth touching up. If you have a unibrow, pluck it! Facial hair for men can be considered attractive but it should be groomed into a nice goatee/beard style or clean shaven altogether. For women: Wax those upper lips!
2. Mouth Hygiene: Brush your teeth at least twice a day. If possible do it more! Flossing is also a must, and it is much easier if you use the pre-strung flosser tools. Use a tongue scraper to get all the nasty bacteria and gunk off your tongue. Finish this off by using a good mouthwash (alcohol-free will leave your mouth feeling less dried out). Keeping breath mints or gum on hand is also a wise decision for those social moments when you want to keep your breath fresh! Another reason is to give yourself the chance to smile regularly!
3. Physical Appearance: Work out and eat right! This should become a part of your lifestyle. This is not to say that you can’t eat some junk food ever, but get to your goal weight before you allow yourself to indulge and then do it only in moderation. If you are not working out regularly, then what are you waiting for? Being obese is not attractive and you feel terrible! Trust me, I know all about it If you aren’t at your target weight quite yet, keep working. The next two areas will help you in the meantime.
4. Posture: Important to stay mindful of as most people can overlook it. Consciously work on your posture. The way you carry yourself can speak volumes to your mindset and personality. If you are slumped over with your shoulders forward and face down, it can scream “I’m low confidence…don’t respect me”. Head up, eyes forward (making good eye contact with others), back straight, and shoulders back is where you want to be. If you need help with this, investigate “Alexander Technique” on Google or another search engine.
5. Dress: This is something that many people (myself included) have trouble with at times. Go out and buy some nice shoes first of all. Then a belt that goes well with the shoes. Offer to buy a friend who is more fashion-savvy than you lunch if they will agree to help you pick out a new outfit or two. Start to get a feel for what they see and get tips and suggestions as to what style fits your life and personality. After you get more experience picking out nice outfits, you start to develop your own tastes and you can tell what clothing works for you as you improve. Nice form-fitting clothes are definitely more flattering than baggy, rap video outfits. Unless of course that is the style that fits your personality.
6. Cleanliness & Scent : This should probably be higher on the list, but since these are in no particular order here it goes. Shower regularly, use deodorant, and a nicely scented (but not overwhelming) body spray, cologne, or perfume. Putting your scent on your pulse points (chest, wrists, neck, & hips) will allow it to be released more slowly over time.
7. Extras : Other things can also be considered to improve or enhance your physical attractiveness. Tanning, teeth whitening, and other more intrusive cosmetic procedures may be worth considering depending on your situation. Be informed and look into everything!
There is the short list on grooming basics. Entire posts could be written on each one of these (and may very well be at some point!). Take care of yourself first and your other personal development endeavors will go much more smoothly.
Self-improvement and personal development begins with you taking care of yourself first. When you look good, you start to feel much better and more positively about yourself. You’re sending a very subtle but powerful message to your subconscious that you are worth putting more effort into.
Improve your grooming habits and strengthen your personal development progress today!
Invest In Your Success
What do you want to accomplish more than anything else right now? I’ve been asking myself the same question recently. And I’ve tried to take steps to ensure that I’ll reach my goals, push past them, and set bigger and better ones for the future. Here’s what I’ve been up to lately to help myself in the different areas of my life.
Health: I have been doing P90X to whip myself back into shape. I’ve lost around 30+ pounds overall since I’ve started (including P90X and other exercise) and feel awesome. The improved physical condition has translated over into every other area of my life. I feel better than I have in a long time and even though I’ve been slacking off in the last phase a little bit lately, I’m going to finish the program and write a full summary of my experience here.
Wealth: I have been digesting a lot of material on wealth-building which is nothing new for me. I study internet marketing and ways to create wealth no matter what anyway. But what I’ve really changed is the small steps I’ve taken to invest in my future. I never really looked at having my investment plan in order before the past couple of months. I opened a higher-than-average return savings account and an investment account with ING Direct/Sharebuilder and have started looking into ways I can save more and contribute to my retirement savings more actively. This is an area I have neglected for a long time and feel so relieved to finally be learning more about it at this stage in my life. In addition, I have been killing it with my study of internet marketing recently and I’m at the point where I’m ready to really throw everything I’ve learned into practice within the scope of what’s doable for me. In any case, I have a great desire to put more effort into what I want to be a very successful business one day.
Relationships: I recently separated from my wife of 4 years. Yes, it’s sad but true. We still care a great deal for each other, but it was time to make a change and move on. Fortunately for me, I have taken great strides to not mope around on this loss. Instead I see it as an opportunity to become a master at all the social skills I have left underdeveloped all this time. I am a HUGE fan of pickup theory and evolutionary psychology. Being “single” again gives me the chance to go out meet new women and friends and really learn more about myself and others in a practical environment. What was once sadness has now been replaced with the understanding of patience and anticipation for the adventures to come in my life.
Miscellaneous: I’m starting back to college in February for a degree in Computer Information Technology. I’m not overly excited about it because I know it will probably take more of my precious time than anything else. But I do want to finish my Bachelor’s degree and my GI Bill will more than cover the expense. I also know it will greatly enhance my resume and give me the golden “something to fall back on” egg.
I know you haven’t heard from me in a while, and these are the reasons why. I’ve been investing in myself and my future a great deal. This article is about that very topic: Self-improvement in all areas at all costs.
It’s easy to just sit around the house all day and play PS3. I go through many days where I do that as well. But throughout my time, I’m very conscious of taking little steps to ensure success will be commonplace in my life. Here’s a little bit of what I’ve learned recently:
1. You HAVE to invest something, whether you want to or not. You have to invest time, money, resources, focus and energy just for starters into whatever outcome you desire in your life and there’s no way around this. You may say “I don’t have to invest anything.”, but in all fairness you are then investing in whatever it is that you are choosing to spend your life doing by not actively pursuing the things that you REALLY want. Time is the most precious of these. The time I spend mindlessly web surfing and playing PS3 is time I could be spending building my blog, internet business, and getting things done that have more priority in my life. This is a habit I am working on improving into something more manageable.
2. Don’t be afraid of failure. I fail all the time. I’ve even written an entire article dedicated to not caring about failure. The thing is to not consider small setbacks failures, but instead to frame them as feedback. Dwelling on setbacks is failure. Correcting them and improving in those areas is inevitable to success. Know the difference and implement it.
3. Evaluate the weak areas of your life and see where you can improve. This one has been big for me and it’s the entire premise of this website and a philosophy I live my life by. What is dragging you down and really feels out of order in your life? Health, Wealth, or Relationships? If one is out of balance from the other two, you will feel it. It may even get to the point where it begins to affect the other areas of your life in a negative way. Find weaknesses and take those initial steps to improve them.
4. Maintain and build upon your strengths. This one is easily accomplished. Best example: My fitness and diet habits have consistently yo-yo’d throughout my life. I’ve gone through many periods of being in shape, working out and eating right. These would then be followed by me settling for my physical condition and then allowing myself to eat junk food and not work out as much resulting in me getting out of shape and having to work hard just to get back to where I was. Now that I’m in a good position with my fitness and diet, I am making it a priority to stay there. I even let myself indulge a little bit with dessert and the occasional beer. Moderation in indulgence is okay. Just don’t let it ruin the habits that got you the success in the first place.
5. Make a plan. This can be an improvement to whatever plan you have in place now or a start from scratch manifesto. Just get something down on paper. I went through Tony Robbins’ Get The Edge program a couple of months ago and it was eye-opening. I was able to write down what I really wanted in life, set timelines of when I wanted to get there and immediately begin taking action towards those goals.
6. Be CONSISTENT. Half of the game is just showing up. Once you have your plan and action steps set up, follow them with conviction. You might get sidetracked or derailed, but keep pushing. A little effort is better than no effort at all. It definitely helps to have the right people around you as well. Try to maintain a peer group who consistently moves towards goals similar to what you are trying to accomplish and this makes your successful progression almost inevitable.
If you’re slacking on yourself and what you want, don’t wait until January to get cracking away on your dreams. January 1st is not a fresh start, but just a date like any other date. Get your fresh start now. Even if you take small steps only, they will still be small steps in the right direction.
Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers, & The Rules To Success
I’ve been on a Malcolm Gladwell reading spree recently and if you haven’t gotten familiar with his work then you should. I became aware of Outliers after seeing it referenced by several very successful people and decided to pick it up. I’ve mentioned it in passing but really wanted to go into it a little further here.
Gladwell discusses several prominent examples of massively successful groups and individuals in the book and what led them to becoming so successful. Bill Gates, The Beatles, why Asians seem to be so good at math, and why the best hockey players are born at the beginning of the year are just a few of the case studies in the book that make for intriguing observations.
These are some of the principles of success you can find over and over again throughout the book and that you can apply in your own quest for success in personal development and your life:
1. The 10,000 Hour Rule: One common theme among most massively successful people is that they practice to get better right around 10,000 hours which averages out to be about 10 years at 3-4 hours a day. This would seem to be common sense. You say to yourself “Oh well I’ll just start the clock and get to it!” and you should, but the reality of the matter is that most people don’t, won’t, or can’t practice that much at anything and fall short of their 10,000 hours to mastery. In a study of musicians in the book, Gladwell takes note of how the musicians that end up being just very good, or average, or music teachers, just have about half the time of the world-class orchestra performers. Most people grow sick of doing something repetitively, tell themselves they are burned out and go back to the same routine. Think about how you can keep yourself going, get your practice time in, and move closer to 10,000 hours of practice to gain mastery in your chosen field.
2. Coming along at the right time This one is beyond any individual’s control but there are some things that can be taken from it. Gladwell mentions how being born at a certain point of the year or in a period of years can be pivotal to one’s success. The key example of this being how the majority of elite hockey players typically have birth dates during the first quarter of the year. The reasoning behind this is that hockey season begins at the start of each year and the children with a year of physical maturity over their peers will be perceived as bigger, stronger, & better. This leads to being picked for the best teams which leads to more practice, better coaching, more experience, & ultimately success. Another example is one of a Jewish law firm that specialized in handling corporate takeovers for clients at a time when they were unpopular and irregular. 20 years later when corporate takeovers were the norm, this group had a head start of leaps and bounds over their competition and has continued to grow exponentially. There is nothing you can do about when you were born, but what you can take away from this one is to take note of those who are successful in your field. Has the time they started had anything to do with their success? Observe and take away what you can about the things that make others successful and model those behaviors. Understanding why somebody has such a great deal of success, whether it be doing it at the right time or having a huge headstart can give you a better idea of how to emulate and apply those lessons to your own routine.
3. Being VERY Lucky The Beatles got the chance to go to Germany to perform for 8 hours a day, 7 days a week because of a lucky meeting with a club promoter. Bill Gates had the immense fortune of being able to have wealthy parents that got him access to a computer at a time when they were rare, AND continued to have lucky break after lucky break when it came to having continued access to perfect his coding skills. Lucky breaks are important, but in this day and age many people are at a point when Rule #1 can help them create their own but so few actually choose to do so. As golfing great Gary Player once said, “The harder I work, the luckier I get”. Be proactive and create your own luck.
How successful you want to be in your personal development endeavors is inevitably tied back to these points as well. The 10,000 hour rule is for the most part what makes successful people. This is applicable to anything worth pursuing in life. If you want to be in better shape, make more money, or have more friends or dates, you have to put in the time to getting these things. You don’t necessarily have to put in 10,000 hours but the more time you can spend, the better. Just conciously put forth more time and practice into those areas in your life where you want more. As Malcolm says in the video above, examples of failures really just boil down to those people who didn’t get their 10,000 hours in! Hard work and perseverance will almost always determine your success. Keep that in mind whenever you think of giving up!
To your continued success,
Clark
Embrace The Failure!
Is that title a bit scary?
If you think so, then let me refresh and then reframe you a bit.
I have been stinking it up so far for my goals this year. I have lost money on Adwords doing campaigns for the Arbitrage Conspiracy and Clickbank. I have all but abandoned my exercise and diet program. My relationships with friends and family have come in second as I try to touch all my goals and barely scrape the surface of any of them. I am trying to do too much and by doing that falling into some of the very traps I have warned you about. Things seem to be going bad so far this year right?
Although I get a little discouraged at times, I don’t think so. The very first day I tried out some of the tips from Infomillionaire, I made a sale. Then it happened again the next day. I thought I was awesome. Then from the second sale came my first refund. I was ridiculously disappointed as if somehow I had something to do with someone being unhappy with a product I didn’t create. After a few days of disappointment on spending on ads and getting no sales, I had a breakthrough weekend: 4 sales, and my first 2-sale day. Since then: NOTHING. All things considered, I haven’t even broken even on what I’ve spent for ads on this campaign. But the biggest victory for me is that I have learned how to set up a campaign, and I have made SALES. The psychological barrier of making that first sale online is out of the way for me. Now I just have to continue to tweak and refine how I do things so that my business will go in the other direction and turn profit in this department. Another good note is that I’ve been discussing this business with a friend and he’s turned a couple of affiliate commissions already as well, which makes me happy that I can help someone.
As far as the Arbitrage Conspiracy goes, it’s got a similar theme. I haven’t been able to turn out as many campaigns as I would have liked so far. I have gotten a lot of VALUABLE information from them though. They have made this course very informative so far. I have learned a lot about writing ads and doing research. I can’t wait to see what the coming weeks bring. I have made a grand total of 3 conversions the last time I checked doing this program. NOT a lot. But I believe I can do better.
I feel like I haven’t put my best foot forward and I’m hoping to change all that by focusing a little more on one thing at a time. I’m stretching myself a bit thin between my commitments. In the beginning I thought I’d only play around with the Infomillionaire stuff and focus completely on Arbitrage. That’s what I want to get back to now because after the initial successful conversion rate I wanted to push harder. Now I know it’s the time to draw back and pay a bit more attention where it’s due. Arbitrage will be my biggest focus now.
I also have school to think about. I am back at The University of Phoenix after a brief stint away. I enjoy the classes and I think they really give me some great ideas. I’ve already taken away a few gems from my first week of class I can apply to my business and my life.
I also joined Bally’s Fitness with my wife last night. It will give us some quality time together to grow closer this year and reach our fitness goals in the process.
Why talk about all these mini-failures? I promised I would share my journey with you. I feel like after all these “how to be excellent” articles I’ve written, I should also share the other side of it. There’s a valuable lesson in this though: You have to be able to take the bad with the good, and keep moving FORWARD.
I don’t get too bent out of shape over my failures and setbacks. They are part of the game. If you are really trying to accomplish something, roadblocks will get in your way. It’s inevitable. The thing that will be necessary is to fight through the failure until the only outcome left is success. I truly believe that and that is why I persevere through setbacks, losing money, and spending every waking moment thinking about my goals.
Anybody who is familiar with Arnold Schwarzenegger knows his theory on the “pain period”. If you can push through the pain on your way to a goal, you will not only accomplish it but more than likely blow it out of the water. The thing is that most people move away from pain and/or towards pleasure. It’s the animal condition in all of us. Most successful people embrace pain and failure and realize it’s just a part of the road to success.
Another thing to realize is that through your efforts, you probably haven’t failed as much as you think or even at all. I realize all the little things my efforts have gotten me. My site is starting to get more readers. My SEO efforts have gotten me a Pagerank of 2/10. It was “No Pagerank Available” last year, so not too bad for a part-time blogger! I have learned a lot about the business and continue to do so. I was 220 pounds at one point last year and I am much lighter (around 195) now. My relationships have been through many ups and downs in the last 2 years and right now I feel very blessed to be in the position I am in with the quality of people I have in my life. Even though I am working my butt off to the neglect of those I love sometimes, they are still there for me with support and encouragement.
My message is this: Things are never as bad as they seem. Don’t EVER give up chasing your dreams. Do what you have to do. Refine your processes. Always try to do better, get better, be more. The things that may seem like failures in your life may be successes in more ways than you can realize. A year from now, how will I look back on this post? My best guess is as a step I had to climb to reach another level of success.
Don’t be overwhelmed when looking at the size of the stairwell you will have to climb on the way to your own personal success. No matter how you look at it, you will still have to take it one step at a time. Why not get started?
