Personal Development Is Not Easy
Read that again. Personal development is hard. A lot of people are always looking for that magic pill that will fix their problems in life. You are that magic pill though.
The first thing that has to happen is that you realize the problem you are having. As I’ve written before, this will generally be a problem that falls under health, wealth, relationships, or a combination of the above. For most people, this is the HARDEST step. No one likes to admit that they are coming up short (or at least shorter than they would like) in some aspect of their lives. Most people are content with staying put in their life and resist change, even though the change (no matter how painful) is what could bring the most positivity and joy into their life!
It doesn’t have to be something that happens in a negative connotation, but I’ve found the most drive and motivation in my personal development efforts when there is a great deal of pain that is making me want to change. Moving towards pleasure in this instance usually isn’t enough. After my P90X and workout experiments of the last 4 months, I’m now around 175-180 on my weight. This change happened because of the immense pain I associated with being fat and out of shape. I felt disgusting, unattractive, and unhealthy. Those factors made me WANT to change so badly that I made it happen.
Now contrast that with the pleasure I feel with being fit and in shape. It is good. I definitely feel better and have positive feelings when people around me comment on how good I look. This is a driving force in my maintaining my results as well. But the memory of the PAIN I had to deal with to get to this point will definitely push me to stay in the gym and coming up with new goals to get in even better shape.
Self improvement works in this way almost always. Evaluate each area of your life. Notice what areas that are lacking give you tremendous pain and that having abundance in would give you great pleasure. If you don’t have any pain, create some for motivation. If you don’t come up with this combination your motivation and drive will suffer for it.
At this stage my fitness is pretty much on cruise control. I know how to eat, I work out regularly, and I spend my time with friends who think and act similarly. Now I am moving my attention to making money online. This is an area that I have spent a lot of time and money in and have not seen the results. I know a big part of that is that I have not taken the steps to implement things that I have learned as efficiently as I could have. It is like a thorn in my side and I now have the PAIN in place to tackle it. I also know how much pleasure I would get from focusing my efforts on the things that I am passionate about and making an income from it.
Personal development is hard folks. I love it because of the challenge, and I have seen seemingly ordinary people do extraordinary things because of consistent effort and a desire to be better. Identify your problem areas and your pain and pleasure motivators, and then go make a plan and implement it. Know, do, and be more in your life in every area.
Get Social Now
A quickie but goodie post for you:
Get more social right away. Get out of the house and go hang out with an old friend or a group of friends regularly. Meet new friends as much as possible. If you have to stay in the house get a Facebook account and reconnect with old friends, classmates, and acquaintances.
I have been doing a lot of both recently and I feel phenomenal. I’ve been doing a ritual with my new roommates where we go to a Pub Quiz trivia game every Wednesday night and I get to cut loose, unplug for a while and get loud. We have a good time, I build my connections in that venue a little bit and then walk home feeling recharged.
Facebook is a much better tool for socializing and relationship management than MySpace it seems. While I still maintain my MySpace account (minimally), I am connecting with friends in a way on Facebook that just didn’t seem possible before. I know people that just dropped off the radar for me will pop up at some point and I once again will have access to that person in my life and I in theirs.
I also attended a friend’s birthday party on Friday night and a Halloween party on Saturday night. I met a lot of cool people and really enjoyed myself. While at times going out more, building new connections, and meeting people can be overwhelming and you can feel over-socialized a bit, the realization that it is like a muscle really helps to put things in perspective. I feel like I was much more attuned to the social vibe on Saturday night than on Friday (and much more on Friday than Wednesday) not surprisingly.
This increased social activity can make me more friends, more networking opportunities(which leads to job and income possibilities), and just makes me generally happier overall. You absolutely NEED other people to be successful in life. Accept it and embrace it.
Social skills and emotional health are two big indicators of future success. So make a game out of it. Go out as much as you can and meet some new people. Get a Facebook account and manage all the great relationships in your life for when you can’t go out often. You will be surprised to find that the more you do it, the better you will get. You might meet the person that can change your life for the better.
