Personal Development Is Not Easy
Read that again. Personal development is hard. A lot of people are always looking for that magic pill that will fix their problems in life. You are that magic pill though.
The first thing that has to happen is that you realize the problem you are having. As I’ve written before, this will generally be a problem that falls under health, wealth, relationships, or a combination of the above. For most people, this is the HARDEST step. No one likes to admit that they are coming up short (or at least shorter than they would like) in some aspect of their lives. Most people are content with staying put in their life and resist change, even though the change (no matter how painful) is what could bring the most positivity and joy into their life!
It doesn’t have to be something that happens in a negative connotation, but I’ve found the most drive and motivation in my personal development efforts when there is a great deal of pain that is making me want to change. Moving towards pleasure in this instance usually isn’t enough. After my P90X and workout experiments of the last 4 months, I’m now around 175-180 on my weight. This change happened because of the immense pain I associated with being fat and out of shape. I felt disgusting, unattractive, and unhealthy. Those factors made me WANT to change so badly that I made it happen.
Now contrast that with the pleasure I feel with being fit and in shape. It is good. I definitely feel better and have positive feelings when people around me comment on how good I look. This is a driving force in my maintaining my results as well. But the memory of the PAIN I had to deal with to get to this point will definitely push me to stay in the gym and coming up with new goals to get in even better shape.
Self improvement works in this way almost always. Evaluate each area of your life. Notice what areas that are lacking give you tremendous pain and that having abundance in would give you great pleasure. If you don’t have any pain, create some for motivation. If you don’t come up with this combination your motivation and drive will suffer for it.
At this stage my fitness is pretty much on cruise control. I know how to eat, I work out regularly, and I spend my time with friends who think and act similarly. Now I am moving my attention to making money online. This is an area that I have spent a lot of time and money in and have not seen the results. I know a big part of that is that I have not taken the steps to implement things that I have learned as efficiently as I could have. It is like a thorn in my side and I now have the PAIN in place to tackle it. I also know how much pleasure I would get from focusing my efforts on the things that I am passionate about and making an income from it.
Personal development is hard folks. I love it because of the challenge, and I have seen seemingly ordinary people do extraordinary things because of consistent effort and a desire to be better. Identify your problem areas and your pain and pleasure motivators, and then go make a plan and implement it. Know, do, and be more in your life in every area.
Have you seen your MOTIVATION today?
Alrighty, it’s time for another episode of Clark’s blog. I’ve taken a couple of days off to refresh and now I feel ready to write. Sometimes it can be a challenge to come up with a good topic to write about even though this is world is full of things to talk about!
My topic today is motivation. What motivates you to push yourself to accomplish your goals and dreams? If you can’t answer that question, you’ve got some soul-searching to do. Do you ever start off doing something with a full head of steam and charge right out of the gates? You probably even make good progress to start with. Then maybe things slow down to a more stagnant pace and you start to lose some of that enthusiasm and energy you had when you started. It happens to all of us. It even happened to me this week when I thought of writing a couple of days and then decided against it. Instead of going only a week with one blog entry though, I decided it would be better to push myself to write one night even if I didn’t want to. Thankfully, tonight I did.
How did I overcome the lull in my enthusiasm and motivation? Well, first of all I reminded myself of my goals and what I want to achieve. I reminded myself what I have to do to get there. But I believe that most importantly, I fed myself some motivational material. I think this is key to reviving a drop-off or plateau in your energy level. In addition to thinking about your goals and what you want to achieve, expose yourself to someone or something that motivates and inspires you. Maybe even something that makes you angry or fired up enough to take action.
For example, I saw The Dark Knight today. It was an EXCELLENT film. I walked out of that theater just like the little kid who wants to jump off rooftops, fight the bad guys, and BE Batman. Watching a 3 hour film gave me quite the energy boost. An even better example of a movie I saw recently was Wanted. Even though there was a lot of crudeness to that movie (and trust me, it was vanilla compared to the comic book), I loved the underlying message. A guy, who becomes so fed up with his boring and ordinary life that he decides to take matters into his own hands and become the master of his life that he was destined to be. My favorite line is the last one in the whole movie, minus the expletive of course: “What have you done with your life lately?”
I walked out of that theater ready to work and write until I couldn’t stand it any more.
Movies are just one way you can give yourself a good kick in the butt to jump start your desire again. I love to read inspirational books, stories, and web sites. Think and Grow Rich, The Power of Positive Thinking, anything related to the law of attraction, and a good Larry Winget book (this guy tells it like it is) are always helpful.
Another way to do it is to create an air or illusion of competition. “How do I do that?” you may say? Create an enemy. Michael Jordan was the king of this. He kept that mental edge on the basketball court because he maintained a chip on his shoulder since the time he got cut from the varsity team in high school. I’ve read many stories of him blowing something an opponent said out of proportion, or fabricating an insult just to get himself fired up and motivated for the next game. He had something to prove and if it will pump you up to throw yourself headlong into your goals then create your own enemy to push your limits, grow and succeed. Coke has Pepsi. Pizza Hut has Papa John’s. I have Steve Pavlina. I say that half-jokingly because I’m a huge admirer of his website and his body of work. But if I’m dragging a little bit some days and I don’t feel like writing, I bring up his website and check out what he’s doing. I pretend my website is going head-to-head against his and it always seems to give me that boost I need to get creative, write something awesome, and post it here.
On the same token, use that “enemy” as an inspiration and model them as well. If that person has achieved as much or more than you, appreciate their efforts and successes and remind yourself that the same is possible for you. Steve Pavlina is once again excellent for me here. The guy has achieved so much with his personal development blog. He’s got a book coming out, which I have no doubt will be excellent like his site has been for years now. That’s an inspiration for me as a new blogger about what is possible if I apply myself and continue to learn and grow and offer value to others. Who is the person in your world that you can use as inspiration to push through a dry spell and keep your freight train of success on the tracks?
So to recap, use these steps to pick yourself up if your desire starts to lull a bit:
1. Ask yourself what your goals and desires are. Remind yourself of those things you want and why you want them. Imagine having them and act as if you are going to get them no matter what. Start fanning those flames of your hunger for success when they get low.
2. Feed yourself motivational material. Watch a movie that gets you fired up to succeed. Read that book about the law of attraction or a success story. Consume media that makes you want to take action NOW.
3. Create an air of competition. Do you have a competitor or an “enemy”? If not then make one up. Tell yourself that this person is doing everything in their power to achieve more and better success than you and dares you to do something about it. Get pumped up and let the energy carry you through your routine with more gusto than ever.
4. Get inspired by another person. It may even be your “enemy”, but admire this person’s success and model the ways they got there. Feed off of their enthusiasm in order to renew your own. Let the new ideas from your newfound inspiration come forward and do your best to implement them ASAP.
5. If all else fails, take a little time off and then come back with a renewed passion. Then wash, rinse, and repeat the steps above.
We all feel a little under the weather sometimes. The key is not to stay there for too long and when you realize you’re there to do something about it quickly. Desire + Motivation + Focus + Action = Success. Out of those four components that equal success, the first three will wane considerably from time to time. It is up to you to take CONSISTENT action steadfastly in spite of this to keep yourself moving in the right direction. Sometimes the action is best spent re-fueling the other three. Keep yourself moving. Do what is necessary to succeed.
Clark
Weather the storm and Reap the Rewards
I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend! I sure did. I went to upstate New York, relaxed, played some tennis, got some sun, and went out to a few night spots in the Syracuse area. I was pretty tired from the travel but I really enjoyed it and I feel refreshed.
You may have noticed how I mentioned an employment opportunity that was re-presenting itself in an earlier post. I’m happy to say that I have now accepted the job and will start next week. Many of my other ventures are also looking up as I learn, apply, and refine my approach to doing things. I feel very optimistic and invigorated to push myself towards more success in all areas of my life. I still intend to post to my blog and work on my other ventures as often as possible, so I don’t see this job as a roadblock to my passion but only as an enhancement. In not so many words, things are going really well for me right now. Prosperity appears to be flowing in from all directions.
I couldn’t have said that last month. I was going through a rough patch in all areas of my life, especially my wealth area. I’ve gotten to where I am right now by persevering through the rough times. I’m sure if you’re reading this you can relate. One of the best pieces of advice my father gave me (I might even say it was the best) when I was having a bad day or stretch was this: “No matter how bad today is, just get through it and go at it again tomorrow. It will all be better tomorrow.” No matter how much of his advice I may have dumped in favor of my own methods and ways of doing things, I have always come back to this one. Its truth and power are universal. I know how many of you are probably saying “Well what if tomorrow isn’t better? What if tomorrow is worse than today?” This is the part where you repeat that line and keep going.
I have had some awful periods in my life. I’ve had some times where things were down right painful and nasty sometimes. I’ve had bouts of illness, family problems, poverty, relationship troubles, and all kinds of other bad times where I just didn’t know what road life was leading me down. Following this advice and repeating that line to myself (even when I didn’t want to say it or even believe it) has gotten me through my troubles time and again. Not only that but once out the other side of my trials and tribulations, I noticed that my outlook seemed to be better and brighter than ever before.
This is the cycle that life throws you. You will have some good days and some bad days. You’ll have to accept both. An important thing to remember is to appreciate the good days and stay optimistic during the bad. You also have to stay hungry and focused on what you want during both. Don’t get lazy during prosperous times and discouraged during a drought. This is an easy road to nowhere.
There is a pain period that comes any time you are trying to achieve a lofty goal. It’s the pain that comes with disappointment, failure, setbacks, losing, rejection, and anything that puts you behind the curve on your way to the top. We all know how it feels to lose the big game, be rejected by the opposite sex, get hit with an unexpected expense, or get sick at exactly the wrong time. These are examples of the pain period. Life could not seem worse at these moments. How you handle these pain periods in your life determines the rewards that life will give you in return.
Are you the type of person who coasts through these times discouraged, down on yourself, and not making a conscious effort to fight your way back out and back onto the road you choose? If so then the answer on how to improve your life lies in that very question.
An example from my life is easily the way things have been for me these past few months. Money has been low and doubt has been high. I actually handled it pretty weakly the first month or so. After some low and lower points, I started to get motivated and dream about some of my goals again. I started imagining how happy it would make me to do the things I want to do, to pursue the projects I want to make a reality in my life. I became determined to pursue my goals and dreams during this time, no matter how hard things were. This blog was born of that passion, as was a renewed drive to go after some of my other internet ventures that I had lost focus on. I am still going through the pain period for these now. But I have seen even the smallest signs of growth already and that is encouraging me to push forward with more fire and determination than ever. I have big dreams and lofty aspirations for this blog and every thing else I am pursuing right now and that is what drives me to learn and get better EVERY day of my life.
This is a small example, but one that you can easily look at and relate to. What is plaguing you in your life? Health, Wealth, or Relationships? Personal Development? Have you set a goal and it seems like you are walking through quicksand to get to it? This is common. This is where the power of persistence comes in. I titled this article the way I did because it is a very accurate metaphor.
Imagine yourself in a boat on a long journey. You are making your way through what seems to be a vast and almost endless ocean. A huge storm sets in with no sign of letting up. Your boat is rocking and being beat about like an afterthought. You may even capsize a few times. You may lose the boat. What will you do to complete your journey?
I can tell you what 99% of everybody on this planet does. They give up. They turn back, or even worse; they drown. It’s the 1% who toughs it out, who will flip the boat over and get back in, or even swim through that ocean if they have to, who see all the rewards in this world. They make it through the storm and see how sunny it is on the other side and realize that things weren’t that bad to start with and, had they just given up and not fought through it they would not have made it to their destination. This gives them all the courage and motivation they ever need to continue to fight through these storms time and again for the rest of their lives, daring the storm to keep someone who will not be denied from their destination.
Some points to remember as you approach the storms in your life:
1. Remember that it’s always sunnier on the other side. Things can seem very difficult and they are, but don’t get discouraged. Do anything and everything to stay motivated during these times. Surround yourself with SUCCESS and let your drive and persistence handle the rest.
2. Once you’re in the clear, don’t get complacent and think that it’s over. You can’t rest on your laurels. You just handled a challenge in your life, overcame it, and now you are reaping the rewards. Enjoy this time briefly, but don’t lose your focus to keep on going. This is a time to celebrate, but not a time to settle.
3. Once you are the king or queen of your mountain, plant your flag and do what you must to STAY there. The only thing harder than getting to the top is staying at the top. If you don’t have people gunning for your #1 spot, then sometimes you might even sabotage yourself. Remember all those obstacles you’ve cleared to get to where you’re at. Appreciate what you’ve learned from those times and let that pain drive you to succeed and accomplish even more.
4. When things start to go bad, remind yourself that it’s just a cycle. This is LIFE. There are predictable and repeatable patterns to it always. It doesn’t matter how much technology is developed or how much things change. It doesn’t matter if you have money, are in great shape physically, and have tons of great friends. You will have cycles of prosperity followed by cycles of challenges and/or obstacles. This is the way things always have been and always will be. The good news is that if you approach your challenges correctly, then the cycles of prosperity can grow immensely each time you overcome the tough spots.
When all else fails, go back to the best piece of advice my father ever gave me: “No matter how bad today is, just get through it and go at it again tomorrow. It will all be better tomorrow.”
Be the captain of the ship that is your life, weather your personal storms, and make it to that tropical paradise on the other side. I’ll see you there.
Clark
