Trying Something New
I have not been able to keep pace with my goal! There have been so many phenomenal things happening in my life that I have not even been able to provide the level of involvement with the site that I’ve wanted for this year. Health, wealth, & relationships have all been pretty good for me lately. But I do want to provide decent and regular content for the site.
That being said, I’m allowing related posts to be put up from outside writers which is a first for me. But hopefully it is one that will provide fresh new topics and content that will be valuable to those who find this site. I look forward to seeing what comes of this.
If you would like to write something for the site related to personal development, get in touch with me via any of the means on my “Contact” page. I’ll be happy to provide you with backlinks to your site in exchange of course.
One of the things I mentioned earlier in the year is implementing systems to make your life easier. I’m trying to follow my own advice with this change. Of course I will still write to my best ability from time to time when the inspiration hits me. Enjoy the new stuff and write me to let me know if anything stands out for you. 
Be Willing To Walk Away
A great quote from De Niro at the 2:35 mark : “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in thirty seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner”.
This is not to encourage you to go be some master thief , but to illustrate an important point. It’s very easy to get caught up in wanting something so badly in your pursuits of personal development and sometimes just life in general that you are almost willing to compromise your integrity or self-worth to get there. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel things are impossible or you have to give too much at that point in time, don’t be afraid to step back or walk away altogether even if it’s only to re-evaluate what steps you will have to take later on.
Notice I didn’t say to give up, but it’s very easy to let the strong emotions that come with passionate pursuit of a goal or an end to sweep over you at times. And while emotion can be a great motivator, it can also be a blinder at times.
Take your time with your goals and enjoy the experience. Pursue what you want with an attitude towards quality and be willing to walk away if it’s necessary so that you can find a better way.
The Importance of Practice
What skills are you trying to develop, maintain, or strengthen to reach your goals this year? I’ve written about it before but practice is definitely a factor to think about when you are doing your personal development planning for the coming months.
You don’t have to practice for hours and hours per day but you should consider how much time you want to spend each day, week, and month when it comes to the acquisition of a new skill or strengthening of an old one. Malcolm Gladwell says that it typically takes about 10,000 hours to become a master of a given skill. This averages out to about 3 hours a day for 10 years. Now you don’t necessarily have to become a master. Plenty of people get by with just novice to good skill level. Heck, you can see people every day who get PAID for that type of skill. But for the area of your life you are working on, you need to give yourself some tough love and ask “How good in this area of my life do I need to be for it to be ‘good enough’ for me?”
Once you have determined what you can live with, it’s time to develop a plan:
1. Carve out an amount of time daily, weekly, or monthly to practice. It doesn’t matter how often because you’ve established how good you are okay with being. You just need to get the time in your day to do it with enthusiasm and energy. I regularly listen to business and success CD’s in my car on the drive to and from work and many times in between because I know I’ll have good chunks of uninterrupted time to learn and benefit from.
2. Be consistent. Once you’ve established your schedule, stick to it. Many people get started and fizzle out quickly. Reminding yourself of your goals and the desired outcome behind achieving those goals can be a great motivator. Set good habits early on and it will be second nature later. You don’t have to always show up, just show up more than not.
3. Put yourself in the company of those on a similar path. Is there a group or meeting in your area that has people who are interested in achieving an outcome or attaining a skill that you want? It may very well be worth it to join these groups and meet the people. It helps with your motivation as well as serves as a great resource when you get stuck.
4. Don’t just learn, but implement as well. This has been my biggest sticking point when I try to learn new skills and I know others have had the same problem. You get the book, or the home study course, or watch video about what you want to know. You go through the whole thing. Then you do nothing. Sometimes the validation of making it through a course can leave you feeling like you know the skill and you don’t feel the need to go further. Don’t cheat yourself. There is nothing like a good regular practical application of your skills to keep you sharp and make you better. Sitting back and reading will not get you anywhere. Take action!
Practice is one of those things that everybody realizes will help them but so many people overlook. Stay on the path this year. Make regular time in your schedule for practice!
Don’t Wait Until The New Year
It’s just a big excuse really to put off changes that you could be making now, while silently giving yourself permission to indulge excessively in the behavior that you supposedly so badly want to end or change. This just puts you deeper in the hole you want to get out of and makes it more likely for you to quit any program that you start early in the year once you see that your small amount of hard work just gets you back to where you were right before Christmas. It’s a vicious cycle and I don’t recommend making any resolutions at all.
This is not to say that I haven’t been guilty of it. I have as recently as this past year actually. What I’m saying is that the majority of New Year’s resolutions go unfulfilled while those who are really concerned about their personal development do work throughout the entire year to ensure that they see results. It’s a mindset that I have cultivated in myself and I would recommend that you do the same to boost not only your success but your overall happiness and well-being.
If you want to make resolutions, make them geared towards processes that bring you more time to do the things that you really want to do and will ultimately give you the most happiness. Here are some examples and the start of my list:
1. Take steps to cut down on the junk mail you will receive this year. One needs only to Google “remove yourself from junk mail lists” to get started.
2. Check email less times per day: Checking only once or twice per day is all you need to keep in touch with every one. Even less than that is even better. If anything is that important then people can call you. Part of the effectiveness of this one relies on you conditioning others to expect fewer responses from you and to be more concise when they do have your attention. You and those you correspond via email with will greatly benefit from this change.
3. Don’t go on binges, but instead make lifestyle changes. Eating right all the time is next to impossible, but at least eat right consistently. Work out consistently. Check your finances and your business consistently. Showing up the majority of the time is the thin line that separates success from half-assing it.
4. Automate as much as possible. Then automate some more. Streamline your activities online. Can you update all your social networking sites with one account? I update my Facebook and MySpace accounts just by updating my Twitter account. Also follow the same rules for emails as you do here. Do it just a set amount per day or even schedule updates to automatically be sent out so you don’t get sucked into the social vortex and lose hours of your life playing Farmville or Mafia Wars.
5. Be a little more selfish this year. I’m already practicing this one. I didn’t visit any body for the holidays. I got almost no one a present. I saved a lot of money and spent a little more on myself. You may not always be able to live up to this but start practicing it if you’re like me and can be a little too nice sometimes. Say no to more requests for your precious and valuable time.
6. Start blocking away time for uninterrupted productivity. Even if it’s just 2 hours, get that time by any means necessary.
The end goal of all of these is gaining more time in your life through selective ignorance. If you get more time, all the other things will improve as long as you improve the processes in your life with your new found hours.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and get started now. Personal development is your job, not anybody else’s. In order to get the time, you have to eliminate the things that don’t matter to focus on the things that do.
Self Improvement Series 1: Grooming
Here’s a new series in my ongoing dedication to personal development and related topics. I’ll be covering some grooming basics in today’s article.
Grooming is one of the simple things that many people overlook but can make a huge difference on how you look, feel, and how you are perceived by others which can also in turn affect your perception of yourself. Part of personal development is improving yourself in all aspects and how you present yourself to the world is a big piece of that. I like to sit in and bum out as much as the next guy, but I’ve found great success with how I feel and how that in turn affects me over the following days and weeks because of my grooming or lack thereof.
A lack of hygiene, dress, and presence can be overcome by how you present your personality. But if you have all of these working in unison, you will find it much easier to be attractive and impressive to others. This can lead to networking and relationship opportunities you may not have had otherwise. So let’s get started. These can generally be considered applicable to men and women:
1. Hair maintenance: Keeping your hair in a neat, trimmed style. If you are going bald, investigate your options: hair products, implants, different hairstyle, etc. For men, it may just be worth going bald. Grooming all other hairy areas of the body is a must as well. Back hair, nose hair, ear hair, and possibly chest hair are all candidates that are worth touching up. If you have a unibrow, pluck it! Facial hair for men can be considered attractive but it should be groomed into a nice goatee/beard style or clean shaven altogether. For women: Wax those upper lips!
2. Mouth Hygiene: Brush your teeth at least twice a day. If possible do it more! Flossing is also a must, and it is much easier if you use the pre-strung flosser tools. Use a tongue scraper to get all the nasty bacteria and gunk off your tongue. Finish this off by using a good mouthwash (alcohol-free will leave your mouth feeling less dried out). Keeping breath mints or gum on hand is also a wise decision for those social moments when you want to keep your breath fresh! Another reason is to give yourself the chance to smile regularly!
3. Physical Appearance: Work out and eat right! This should become a part of your lifestyle. This is not to say that you can’t eat some junk food ever, but get to your goal weight before you allow yourself to indulge and then do it only in moderation. If you are not working out regularly, then what are you waiting for? Being obese is not attractive and you feel terrible! Trust me, I know all about it If you aren’t at your target weight quite yet, keep working. The next two areas will help you in the meantime.
4. Posture: Important to stay mindful of as most people can overlook it. Consciously work on your posture. The way you carry yourself can speak volumes to your mindset and personality. If you are slumped over with your shoulders forward and face down, it can scream “I’m low confidence…don’t respect me”. Head up, eyes forward (making good eye contact with others), back straight, and shoulders back is where you want to be. If you need help with this, investigate “Alexander Technique” on Google or another search engine.
5. Dress: This is something that many people (myself included) have trouble with at times. Go out and buy some nice shoes first of all. Then a belt that goes well with the shoes. Offer to buy a friend who is more fashion-savvy than you lunch if they will agree to help you pick out a new outfit or two. Start to get a feel for what they see and get tips and suggestions as to what style fits your life and personality. After you get more experience picking out nice outfits, you start to develop your own tastes and you can tell what clothing works for you as you improve. Nice form-fitting clothes are definitely more flattering than baggy, rap video outfits. Unless of course that is the style that fits your personality.
6. Cleanliness & Scent : This should probably be higher on the list, but since these are in no particular order here it goes. Shower regularly, use deodorant, and a nicely scented (but not overwhelming) body spray, cologne, or perfume. Putting your scent on your pulse points (chest, wrists, neck, & hips) will allow it to be released more slowly over time.
7. Extras : Other things can also be considered to improve or enhance your physical attractiveness. Tanning, teeth whitening, and other more intrusive cosmetic procedures may be worth considering depending on your situation. Be informed and look into everything!
There is the short list on grooming basics. Entire posts could be written on each one of these (and may very well be at some point!). Take care of yourself first and your other personal development endeavors will go much more smoothly.
Self-improvement and personal development begins with you taking care of yourself first. When you look good, you start to feel much better and more positively about yourself. You’re sending a very subtle but powerful message to your subconscious that you are worth putting more effort into.
Improve your grooming habits and strengthen your personal development progress today!
