Stop The Cycle Of Worry
Worry can make a person go crazy. It can drive another person crazy. It can weaken a marriage and your relationship with your children. Psychology tells us not to worry. Medical doctors tell us not to worry. Nutritionists and other health practitioners tell us not to worry. Worry brings on poor health. It ages us. It robs us of happiness. The Book of ultimate wisdom, the Bible, tells us not to worry. Jesus said:
..who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life? Matthew 6:27 – remember that?
So your marriage isn’t doing that great? Worry won’t solve a thing. Action will. Go to our site for men and our site for women for material that will show you what actions to take. Another Scripture is very clear:
Another Scripture is very clear:
Besides action to make sure you save your marriage, there is something else you can do. TRUST. Trust in your abilities and decisions. Trust that your spouse and your children have some common sense. Trust in God and the Lord Jesus Christ. Trust in the message that we have been privileged to deliver to you.
Lean on; trust in; and place your confidence the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him; and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn away from evil. It shall be health to your nerves and sinews and marrow, and moistening to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8 (Amplified version)
We’re here to help you – in all kinds of ways. Save your marriage. Save your life.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems Save my marriage , and get separate help for men This article, Stop The Cycle Of Worry is available for free reprint.
Men Can Be Right, You Know
Independent he is, but invincible he is not. Sometimes my husband, George, should have listened to me because he’s made some interesting choices that he now regrets. Other times he gets along amazingly well without my counsel. Okay, I heard that laugh. I’m laughing with you. But to give you an example:
Two years ago we bought some bare root trees: a fig and an almond. Not realizing the time (which is usual for me) I failed to put my proposal in for where I wanted them to be planted. In dismay I stood looking at them later. The fig had been planted directly beneath the branches of one of our old apricot trees and the almond directly under the branches of another old apricot tree. His reasoning was that the apricot trees would die, we’d cut them down and the new trees would already be in place.
I just KNEW they would grow up deformed and squatty. But, as he predicted, both apricots popped off from old age and the little trees are cheerily holding their own. He was so right. Wife, you have a treasure in that man of yours. Maybe you can’t see it right now, but start looking, dwelling on his good points rather on what you are quite sure is hurting your marriage. If you want more help in that area, read my books composed just for you:
A Woman’s Emotional Needs and Love Me Always – 12 Ways Women Can Have Exciting, Lasting Love. You can find them in our women’s material on our saving marriages site. If your marriage is too good to need saving, that doesn’t mean it can’t be better. We show you how to do that, too.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Saving your marriage is what we do best , and get separate help for men Unique version for reprint here: Men Can Be Right, You Know.
You Don’t Need To Be In Control
Are you a controlling personality? Well, congratulations. You’ve been gifted with leadership traits. Keep in mind, though, that there are those who lead wisely, those who are mediocre n their leadership and some who are so infatuated with their need to control that they are downright ornery, or bad or evil. The latter have used their gift of being leaders in the wrong way.
Men and women who are natural leaders are in every business, government and family. We all are affected by them in governing bodies, but especially in the family that is, basically, the center of our lives. Those within the family unit who have controlling natures would serve the family best if they didn’t misuse those abilities.
Children need a measure of control throughout their childhood and teenage years. Parents need to be in charge and call the shots. As a child grows and matures, though, he is expanding his own abilities in the process of becoming an adult. The control that is exhibited over him/her by the parents also should be a process, so that the “letting go” is gradual, giving a little more independence to the child, bit by bit, to keep pace with his maturing process. That way he/she will, in time, come to the point of being able to make good decisions without the parents overseeing everything. If she/he starts making decisions that are immoral or harmful, though, as she nears adulthood, parents need to step in decisively and hard and do what is necessary to put a stop to it.
The marriage relationship is different altogether. Husbands and wives should not try to control each other. There is an order that should be set up, yes, with the husband as head of the family, for God ordained that. However, head of the family does not mean, as far as his wife is concerned, that the man has a right to bully her, dictate, lay down the law, ignore her, order her around, or do anything that does not show her honor. Husbands… honor your wife…” we are told in the Bible. Honor is a strong word.
However, if you are being controlled by your wife and it is hurting you and the family unit, take a look at our material to men so you can learn how to turn things around. If you are confused about the control issue, we’ve dealt with it at length in my books to men, Forever My Love and Keep Love Exciting & Lasting.
The wife is her husband’s partner by divine selection. If she’s the natural leader and thus the strongest personality of the two, she still shouldn’t step into her husband’s shoes, so to speak. If she would have a peaceful, happy home and children who are not confused about their sexuality, she’ll allow her husband to fulfill his God given role as the one who makes the final decision if there is disagreement over an issue.
She’ll respect him and his decisions in such cases even if she is not in accord with them. She’ll admire him and hold him up as a role model for the children. A woman still can maintain her independence that way, but at the same time, she’ll be assuring her husband’s love and admiration of her.
See why I have made those statements by reading my books written for women, Love Me Always and A Woman’s Emotional Needs. If you are a woman who is being controlled by your husband to the point where you feel smothered or a prisoner to his whims, there is no need to file for divorce. Educate yourself on what to do in our material for women and make sure your husbands looks over my books written for him.
Here’s a big What If? What if your husband or your wife is going into an area that is immoral or destructive to his/her body, your marriage or the family unit. Then, by all means, you need to talk, get counsel, set your foot down and determine to stop it whether it’s drugs, pornography, an affair, out of control anger, abuse, etc.
Who is boss is, as the old saying goes, a bone of contention in many families and has caused numerous breakups. Don’t let it happen to you. Stop the hurt that’s breaking your heart. Be loving partners, each focused on what you do best, tapping into each other’s knowledge so you can form a powerful whole that will give your children a sense of security and a feeling that all is right with their world.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
Do you have relationship problems? You are not alone. Millions have marriage problems Save my marriage , and get separate help for men Check here for free reprint licence: You Don’t Need To Be In Control.
Save Your Marriage By Being Silent
This isn’t about not talking. It is about learning to talk about the right things and not wasting your time on the wrong things. Some spouses simply cannot handle lurid truths about their sweethearts’ past.
Lee and Lila both were virgins until one day they became so passionate on a date that they had sex. Lee and Lila went on to marry different people. Lee felt he had to tell his new wife, Zoe, about what happened with Lila. Zoe was so hurt by his confession that it was all Lee could do to save his marriage.
Many time is it the man who cannot bear to hear about his wife experiences. William had a few sexual encounters when he was in the army, but that was to be expected, wasn’t it? When his wife, Mackenzie, said she’d had a few, too, he was shocked, hurt and filed for divorce. William just walked out – he did not feel his marriage was worth saving.
Now, listen to this scenario and you decide if this marriage could have been saved. Karen wouldn’t sleep with Elijah until they said, “I do.” He wasn’t interested in Karen’s past; but she was vitally interested in his. She was persistent and demanded to know the details. She was furious that he had endangered her by his sleeping around that could very well result in STD’s for them both. A year after they said, “I do,” she said, “I don’t,” and left.
One man wrote: How honest, truthful and open should a husband be in relating past pre-marriage experiences?
Whoa, wait a minute! What about husband AND wife? Women not only fought for equal pay for equal work, but they won equal rights to be promiscuous. At that point the men used it to their advantage. They turned the ladies’ indiscrete behavior to their advantage until women now are expected by many to give out sexually on a first date or soon after. Shacking up once a guy breathes to a woman, “I love you. Will you marry me?” is commonplace. Although they won a battle, women lost the war.
Here is another typical example – Anna and Luke move into an apartment together as soon as they said “I love you.” He loves me and I love him. That’s all that matters, she told herself, so their living together was not wrong in her estimation.
Here is another typical example – Anna and Luke move into an apartment together as soon as they said “I love you.” He loves me and I love him. That’s all that matters, she told herself, so their living together was not wrong in her estimation.
If you want a relationship or marriage to last, it’s best to be open about your sexual conquests or promiscuity before you get involved if there is any danger at all that sexual disease might have resulted. This is the only reason to offer the information.
If you married anyway without sharing the truth with one another, questions concerning either of your past “loves” are best never asked or answered. You do not need to lie, but you also do not have to divulge all the details. Don’t be a blabbermouth if there is no danger involved, but answer direct questions truthfully, leaving unsaid the things that would cause unhappiness or fear. Of course, if your silence would bring about a suspicion that would be greater than if the person knew the details, then it’s best to lay it out.
Living with guilt is the reason that people say “give it over to God”. Go to confession. In fact, while you’re there, consider surrendering your life to Him. Your relationship with God can guide your path for your future. That’s the best way of all to save a marriage or relationship.
For those of you who avoided sexual encounters before marriage, you are a whole lot smarter than those who didn’t. Just don’t fall into the trap of promiscuity. Don’t give anyone in your future any reason to question your moral decisions on the past. If you indulged and are cornered so you have to tell all, assuming you are interested in saving your marriage, tell your partner humbly and with a great deal of regret.
Remember that you do not have to find your way alone. We’re here for you to show you the way to strengthen or save your marriage. Come join us at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com to get the help you need.
Does your marriage need help? You are not alone. 100′s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Save your marriage today, and get separate help for women Check here for free reprint licence: Save Your Marriage By Being Silent.
Signs That Things Are Ominous In A Marriage
When Nicole told Robert that she was leaving him, he was stunned. “What the —?” he asked, unable to respond in any other way.
“You heard me,” she said. “I’m done. There is nothing left of this marriage.” She flounced out of the room and locked herself in their library. He sat down and looked at the locked door wondering what had gotten them to this point. Leaving? Why? He loved this woman. He would never leave HER. Why would she leave him? A businessman, his Blackberry chimed repeatedly, telling him that he had appointments, but in his dismay, he barely heard the sound, and when his secretary called, trying to find him, he didn’t bother to answer her call.
All he could do was wait, as his mind whirled. It took her an entire hour to emerge. “Why?” he asked, his voice weak and small. What she told him blew him away. He continued to sit there stunned, as she walked out and drove away.
V:3 That night he called me. We spent a lot time on the phone and then in person sitting in a caf and discussing his wife. As we went over what his wife had told him, things began to fall in place. There had been signs that he had missed all along the way.
The recipe to save his marriage was not difficult to put together, and he attacked it with the same fervor that made him a star in business. He was persistent and over time his wife responded, actually much sooner than he ever thought possible. Through persistence and constant attention he saved their marriage from the brink.
We know you want to save your marriage. Start with these warning signs: These are excerpts from Expert Love – our book on marriage.
STOP : The flow of communication has stopped. CAUTION: One partner has started to turn off. SLOW DOWN: Husband and wife spend very little time together. DETOUR: It is easy to get off track focusing on what you can get instead of give. OPEN DITCH: Romance is not a daily part of their lives. It’s been reduced to sex. RED LIGHT FLASHING : It seems like the day goes from one argument to the next. DON’T PASS: They haven’t a spiritual base. BUMPY ROAD: One of their children is becoming rebellious. MUDDY ROAD AHEAD : They take each other for granted. DANGER They don’t laugh together much anymore. CURVES : Patience with each other has worn thin. There is a lot of criticism. LOOSE GRAVEL Finances and other life issues make things worse. WRONG WAY: One responds rudely when the other asks something. TUNNEL: One or the other feels sorry for herself/himself.
Warning signs – You can see them so what do you do? When you’ve hit a road block and can’t figure out what to do, that’s why we’re here at Love Relationship Headquarters. We save marriages, strengthen marriages and turn marriages into relationships brimming with love – as they were when a couple started life together in the beginning.
We can help you no matter which category you are in. We give you the guidance you need to recognize the danger signs. We show you what you can do, so that you can attack them in the right way and make your marriage work beautifully like never before.
It’s never too early to get started on saving a marriage that might be deteriorating without your even knowing it. And, very often, it’s never too late. Check it out. Go to: www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com. Join hands with us in making your marriage what it should be.
Dr Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
Are there problems in your marriage? You are not alone. 100′s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Save your marriage today, and get separate help for women This article, Signs That Things Are Ominous In A Marriage has free reprint rights.
